So I knew that I was angry when I wrote my previous blog,
but I didn't realize how angry until a 3rd party said to me
And I realized that it was true.
I realized that I was waking up angry, and that I wasn't loving my fellow man as much as I did previously.
So what was I going to do about it? That was the question.
I decided that the 1st place to start was with my relationship with God.
I was reminded of the two universal sins
The ones of which we are all guilty
Can you see how those two fit together?
With an inflated sense of self we aren't thankful for others
And with ingratitude we assume we do everything ourselves
So, I wanted to start being thankful for my life,
for the wonderful people around me
I wanted to make a conscious effort to notice the blessings around me and to rejoice in them.
So when I decided to do this I made my prayer for the evening one of gratitude where I also prayed for happiness.
The very next morning I woke up and found that I was happy with the day beginning.
For so many days straight I had faced each morning with dread and no - I mean absolutely zero - excitement about the prospect of another day.
And here it was, the very next day after my prayer, and I woke happy for the day.
You can equate this to the power of positive thinking, which I am sure has a lot to do with it, but it was also an answer to my prayer. So I tried to be grateful for it.
And I was.
And that made me even happier.
I soon found that happiness, similar to anger, begets itself.
Gandhi knew all about this sort of thing.
And as I started making this effort, I really did realize how angry I had been. How angry I was.
I was angry at a lot of events and people, and I was channeling it out instead of loving people and honestly realizing that hurting my pride isn't an offense for which people need my forgiveness.
If I think so much of myself that people can make me angry by inadvertently slighting my pride, then the issue is with me.
So I forgave a lot of people, and I forgave myself.
Then I felt even better.
It is amazing how this works.
So I am still working on it. Some nights I forget to pray for the happiness, some mornings I am not grateful for the day - neither in my mind or my prayers - but that is okay, because progression is eternal.
I find great joy in the knowledge that I am progressing.
Everyone out there, keep your heads up!
And know that I love you.